The Uncurated Life Podcast: THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

What is love, baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more. If you want to watch A Night at the Roxbury now you're welcome. Welcome to view and curated life podcast. My name is Cindy Guentert-Baldo, and today we are continuing my experiment of trying out various personality tests, uh, from the perspective of somebody like me, who's fairly.

When it comes to personality tests, and today by request, I am doing the five love languages because it's Valentine's day when this podcast goes live, it just seemed appropriate. My original plan was to do this with my husband, Jesse. Difficult sometimes to nail down times, or we can both sit down and do this.

So today's just going to be me. But if you are interested in me having him on the podcast to talk about his love language and maybe see what we can figure out between the two of us, uh, tag me at @llamaletters in your Instagram stories and. Anyway, let's just get right into it. And if you're interested in the other personality tests, they are in previous episodes, I've probably done five or six at this point.

So yeah, it's an ongoing series again, tag me at @llamaletters. If you have any suggestions for other personalities, You would like me to take, so let's get right into it. The five love languages. I probably don't have to explain this to most of you. Most of you probably already know all about this because it is extremely popular.

But if you don't know the love languages are a personality test about how you express and receive love. It's meant to. People, uh, effectively communicate their feelings in a relationship. It was originally a book by Dr. Gary Chapman, who is a licensed marriage counselor. He's also an evangelical Christian.

And if you're anything like me, then that sounds alarm bells in terms of taking some sort of a personality test from the quote Christian perspective. If you're not Christian, While his books, there's a series of these love language, books, or languages about different ways to be communicate. Uh, there, from that perspective, from everything I understand, I haven't read them, but they do have that perspective.

But according to my basic internet search, anyone can benefit from his material. I don't feel like reading the books. So I went to the Google and I came across like the official website of the love languages. And so let's talk about what they are and there's five, which I've said already a bunch of times, uh, first is acts of service, which are for people who actions speak louder than words for them.

Right. Somebody doing something for them is their form of love. Next is receiving gifts. Uh, receiving a heartfelt gift is what makes them feel most loved quality time is the next one. And that is forgiving. The other person, undivided attention. Uh, words of affirmation is the love language, where words are the thing that gives you, the people giving you good, like compliments affirming words is the way you receive love best.

And then we do this is that. No physical touch. I knew I missed one left for that person. Nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate physical touch. Now I pulled all of these from the website directly in their little blurbs, but they've got videos and all sorts of other stuff where you can dig deeper into it.

Again, I don't really want to, I just want to take the test and figure out which one I am. So I'm going to the quizzes page on the website and there's several quizzes. They've got the love language quiz, but then he's also got the apology language quiz, the anger assessment quiz, the appreciation language.

A quiz. And again, if you're interested in me doing any of these, either by myself or maybe with my husband, let me know on Instagram about what I'm going to be doing is the love language quiz, which says what's your love language, trademark for couples singles, teens, and children. Take this quiz to discover your primary love language, what it means and how you can use it to better connect with your loved one.

It says here, you need to save your results because they won't save them. There is, as of right now, no cost. So I will let you know, after I take it, if there is a price to pay for like the more detailed analysis, which is what I've been paying for a lot of these, for the sake of science in this podcast.

But, uh, I don't necessarily think you need to do that. If you're trying to save your money here or whatever, like I'm doing it for science, man. Anyway, I'm going to pause this and take the quiz and we will talk about it in a couple of weeks. That didn't take very long at all. Probably about five minutes.

It was a group of probably 20 or 30 paired statements, which is it's more meaningful, more meaningful for me when, and then two different things. So things like my partner says, I appreciate you. Or my partner does something. That's been stressing me out, whatever the case may be. And so I scored fairly highly on two of, well, no one of them, I scored the highest two of them, my score kind of close to each other.

And then two were kind of down in the bottom. I'm not surprised by this breakup at all. Uh, acts of service is my, my primary love language because I just, I love when. Jesse does ship for me. I'll be real. Um, I don't think that that was my love language for the longest time. I think the second one on my list, which is if acts of service came in at 23, at 37% words of affirmation and physical touch both came in close to each other at 23 and 20%.

If you would asked me what my love language was. Six or seven years ago before my kidneys really started to fail. Or if you had asked me what, I might've thought myself, just in general, what it would have been words of affirmation would have been the, uh, the one that I expected to be the top, because I know that I tend to really shine when I am complimented.

When people tell me that they appreciate me, like I am a pleaser. And so. I also can fight back against pleasing. It's very uncomfortable place to be. But the point being is that when somebody lets me know that they're proud of me or whatever, that always really lights me up inside. However, um, as my kidneys have started to fail and I've gotten more and more exhausted.

I have found that people doing things for me, because they were thinking of me because they recognize I was tired or stressed out or that I just have a lot on my plate. And then just stepping into do something without me having to ask has very, definitely become like the top of my list. I, I didn't read the books.

I don't know if this is more like, what was the other one was the Enneagram. Now, one of the ones that I did recently said that this is kind of how you are from the day you're born. It was the one that has you thinking about what you were like as a kid, uh, I, I, I would imagine that your love language might change depending on your circumstances.

If you're a, for example, in chronic pain, a lot of the time, perhaps words of affirmation goes out of the way when it comes to acts of service. It doesn't surprise me. That receiving gifts is on the very bottom. Yeah. Honestly, I've always been very, um, I've always been very touched and excited when somebody has given me something and thoughtful, but generally speaking, um, gifts are just not something that like lights me on fire.

I, it's just not my thing. It's not that I don't like getting gifts. I just, I'm kind of ambivalent about it. I don't think about it a lot of the time, which is probably why I'm so shitty at giving gifts as well. Um, Quality time has been lower on my list lately. And it's not that I don't love spending quality time.

It's just since the pandemic, we spent so much time together that quality time, sometimes I just want quality time with myself. Do you know what. And physical touch was the one right in the middle at 20%. Very close to words of affirmation. Again, this is one that I think has changed as I have gone deeper into my kidney problems.

Uh, Um, somebody who loves hugging, loves touching, holding hands, all of those things. However, the intimacy side now just be totally real with you. The intimacy side of relationships for me has gotten really. Tamped down. And I think it's a combination of the antidepressants I'm on, but also the fact that I am in large amounts of pain all of the time, my kidneys are massive.

And so the thought of anything invading my body, any even pleasurable invading force. Sound like the business right now. So I would imagine that that might have pushed physical touchdown, where it might have ranked higher. I would probably have suggested that maybe six or seven years ago the order might've gotten words of affirmation, physical touch, then acts of service.

But currently right now, this, this, this tracks with everything I know. And it's actually very interesting to me to think about the differences between what it is now and what it might have been before. My kidneys had progressed as badly as they have. Anyway, interesting conversation. I really do want to do this with Jesse, so I may have a SQL to this coming up soon, but in the meantime, I would love for you to let me know on Instagram at @llamaletters, both what you would like to see from personality tests.

And what's your love language? What is it that lights you on fire? I'd love to hear about it. Thanks as always to my patrons for sponsoring this video. With this video, this podcast sponsoring my foggy kidney brain. As much as they do, if you're interested in finding out more, go to www.patreon.com/cindyguentertbaldo. Once again. Thank you. Have a wonderful rest of your day. If you celebrate Valentine's day, I hope it is lovely. If Valentine's day is at bummer and a half for you, I hope that you find something to do today that makes you happy, regardless of whatever the hallmark card and candy companies want us to sell it.

I have a good one, stay safe and I will talk to you next week. Bye friends, peace out.